1 second

Your CD will be ever so slightly warm. These CDs make wonderful plate warmers if placed under dinner plates. Hey, your CD might even still work (don't trust me on that one).

2 seconds

Maybe you'll get a spark or two, and there'll be a peculiar odour lingering in the air, but otherwise, it's a waste of a CD that has potential.

4 seconds

Nice and toasty, you'll get a nice light show and the maybe some swirls will start to form. And the wonderful smell of plastic will poison the inhabitants of your house.

8 seconds

Our experts agree... 8 seconds is the perfect length of time. It creates nice swirly patterns on the CD yet doesn't burn. And it won't gas your neighbours to death (although if you want to, by all means go to 16 seconds).

16 seconds

Crispy. Your CD is now a cosmic black hole, as is your stand. Government agents will come to your house and declare it unsafe due to the high concentration of toxic fumes.

32 seconds

Extra crispy. If you don't have insurance, I feel sorry for you. Your microwave is probably burnt out, and you've got a melted CD permanently affixed to it as well. Not to mention the class-action lawsuits filed by concerned citizen groups in neighbouring municipalities.